So, I decided to accept a speaking engagement at the Corvinus
University of Hungary (yes they have one, one!)
I figured, "how hard could this be, they're Hungarians!. I should be
greeted as a god by Hungarians, right? Who the heck goes to Hungary?"

Well, I found that I walked into an Hungarian ambush!

Before I could even get warmed up good, some Hungarian moron got up
and started yelling some kinda' goulash at me, he threw three eggs, I
took cover. The guy was escorted out and I regained my classic
composure, the goat smelling Hungarians laughed.

WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS:

The kid was taken to a back room where he was being held by a campus
security guy and my Blackwater Bodyguard #6.
I told the university staff that I was concerned about him and wanted
to speak to him personally. He was handcuffed and tied down to a
chair. As everyone left so I could have my little "talk" with this
poor troubled soul, I instructed BWBG#6, "Nobody gets in here for the
next 45 seconds!", he said, "I understand sir."

The rest of my story goes like this:

"I approached the kid and he became irrational! He screamed, tipped
his chair over backwards, slammed his head into the wall several
times! I tried helping him up by the neck, but he tried to bite me! I
released him and he fell to the floor hitting his head on my shoe
(several times)! Boy was I glad to get out of there! That guy was
crazy."

The Hungarian authorities have assured me that he will never do
anything like this again.

I am not evil.